Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
