found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think your dad took our porno
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
