McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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