i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
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Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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