We're facebook friends in real life
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
