Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
where am i from again
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize