mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Actions speak louder than pants.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
