Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
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