Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
