4 words: hood of his car
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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