He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
