People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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