I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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