i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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