there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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