and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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