Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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