Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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