okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I wish you could order shots online.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
At least life still wants to fuck me.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
