why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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