My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize