I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
it's great music for shaving your balls
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
