she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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