You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
