Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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