It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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