Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
