I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
