I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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