K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
