that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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