: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
