So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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