we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
