Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
