She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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