He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
