im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We had to coat check the pizza.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
