i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
