god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
