I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
