I can't watch pbs sober anymore
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
