At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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