I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
