my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
