I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
