thus making me awesome and them whores
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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