all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I deserve this hangover.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
