You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
