i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
