if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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