If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
