dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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