At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
