So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
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What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
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he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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